The Cost of Strength
by DuwangChew
Summary: A somewhat expanded look on Bort's plan to temporarily team up with Phos and test out their new abilities.


**AN: ****Hi! It's been awhile since I've last posted. This is also my first HNK story! It's not entirely my own idea, as it's based on a piece of art by artofkace. They put it on their scrapped art blog, but I still found it evocative enough that I just had to expand on it!**

**Be sure to check it out here!: post/175691065398/very-old-bortphos-thing-i-decided-to-never-post**

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"_Ridiculous._" As the day dragged on that was what continued to echo in Bort's head. This whole thing was ridiculous. The reason they had decided to partner with Phos in the first place was seeming stupider and stupider by the minute. Sure, they'd be lying if they said they were not intrigued by Phos' new arms. But any new abilities these arms brought, and impressive combat they allowed for couldn't change the fact that to Bort, Phos was still Phos.

And that currently entailed lagging behind as the two gems were out on their patrol route. Bort stood at the crest of a hill, the setting sun sinking behind them as they grit their teeth in annoyance. Phos was still a ways from the top, lethargically making their way forward. If the younger gem took any longer, Bort swore they would start to crack in anger.

"Phosphophyllite!" Bort shouted, finally having had enough. "Pick up the pace! If you don't stop dawdling like this I will personally break you!"

The angry diamond's only received response was an annoyed groan, and a non committal wave of a golden arm. Bort let out a low growl and turned to face the ever sinking sun. It was getting cloak of night was around the corner, and the two gems likely wouldn't make it back before dark. Another spike of anger rose in the black diamond only for them to try and dial it back. If they weren't careful, they might actually start cracking. Having to deal with Rutile after all this would only serve to make an annoying day into a terrible one.

So Bort took a deep breath, slowly releasing it as they closed their eyes and waited patiently for their dunce of a partner. Honestly, they only had themself to blame for this. What had they been expecting? They knew how Phos was. Noncommittal, reckless, and above all, lazy. That's what Phos was, how they had always been. And yet, Bort knew deep down that was no longer true. They'd seen for themselves how Phos had taken down those Lunarians when they were with the Amethyst twins. The almost nonchalant manner in which Phos had slain them left even Bort stunned.

And perhaps that spoke to an even bigger change in the green haired gem that Bort had to yet fully understand. It was hard to pin down their current demeanor, but it wasn't that of the excitable and irritable child they had known before. Now Phos almost seemed...disconnected. Like something in them had shut off. It wasn't uncommon these days to find the youngest gem staring off into the distance, a blank slate of a face hiding whatever emotions warred beneath. Something had happened to Phos during winter. Whether or not that had to do with whatever went down with Antarcticite Bort had no idea. All they knew for certain was that the Phos they once knew was a thing of the past.

Bort found themself surprised at how much that...bothered them. Certainly they didn't care about what happened to Phos, right? No more so than any other of their gem siblings. In fact Bort could easily recall many times where the younger gem was nothing but a thorn in their side. So why? Why were they so interested in the emotional state of Phos?

"_Is that why I did this? Was that why I wanted to partner up?"_ Bort asked themself.

The question seemed to shake something in Bort's very core. This whole time, was a supposed interest in Phos' new combat potential nothing more than a smokescreen? A lie they told themself to stop from realizing the truth. Deep down, they cared about Phos. What had been bothering Bort this whole time wasn't Phos' lack of mission expertise...it was seeing them in whatever emotional state the brutal Winter had left them.

Bort didn't get much time to ponder on this when they felt a hand grab their shoulder. Their sword was half drawn when they realized the hand belonged to Phos and not some secret Lunarian aggressor.

"Woah, Bort!" Phos said, jumping back and raising their hands in surrender. "It's just me. I've been trying to get your attention for the past 5 minutes…"

Phos gave a short, nervous laugh as Bort glared at them, slowly resheathing their sword.

"I-idiot. Don't sneak up on me like that."

Bort cringed a bit internally at their stutter.

"In my defense, I didn't really think you could be snuck up on…" Phos said dryly, lowering their hands.

Normally they'd be right. Bort always made sure to be on high alert, ensuring no danger ever caught them off guard, Lunarian or otherwise. The black diamond had been so absorbed in their earlier thoughts they left themself vulnerable. Bort couldn't help but feel embarrassed by this and had to fight back the flush of color that threatened to tint their face. Deciding it was best to get away from said thoughts, Bort 'masterfully' changed topics.

"It took you long enough to get here."

Phos narrowed their eyes in annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah I know," the younger gem said off handily. "I'm too slow for you. You were making that pretty obvious all day."

The nonchalant way Phos said this served to raise Bort's earlier ire.

"I seem to recall you being quite fast last time you were stationed for patrol. What happened?" Bort asked bluntly.

"Do you have any idea how heavy these arms are? I can't do the whole 'fast' thing anymore." Phos said, taking a step toward Bort. "Besides, with the pace you've been pushing, no one could keep up all day!"

"I was able to handle it. Just. Fine," Bort retorted through gritted teeth.

Normally, this would be when Phos sheepishly backed down. Instead, they stood their ground.

"Yeah well not everyone is a battle freak like you!" Phos said, throwing their arms up in anger.

In a flash, Bort reached out and grabbed the right one, closing their hand in a vice around Phos' wrist.

"There isn't anything 'freakish' about it, Phosphophyllite. This is how you become strong," Bort could feel a hairline crack starting to run down their face, but they didn't care. "Isn't that what you're supposed to be now!? That's what everyone seems to think!"

Phos said nothing, so Bort continued, yanking on the wrist they held captive.

"That's what you wanted all this time wasn't it!? To be strong? To fight alongside us? Why you got these ridiculous arms?"

In an instant, Phos' demeanor completely changed. The frown faded from their face, They stopped struggling against Bort's hold, and the anger that had been brewing in their eyes vanished.

"Shut up…" Phos said quietly, and unnerving, desolate calm having fallen over them.

"What did you say!?" Bort said, realizing too late the change in the other gem.

This marked the second time Bort was caught off guard in one day as they suddenly found themself hitting the ground, Phos' pinning them their. Parts of the younger gem had fractured at the impact, but they paid them no mind.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Phos screamed in the face of a surprised Bort.

The absolute rage they saw in Phos now rivaled that of their Sensei's. It sent a chill to Bort's core. It looked wrong on their face. Anger that raw, that intense shouldn't belong to the once carefree gem Bort knew.

"You don't know anything about me!" Phos continued to rage. "You think I wanted this!? You think I asked for these damn things!?"

As Phos' mentioned their alloy limbs, Bort realized they had started to morph, liquefying and pooling around their arms, further anchoring them in place on the ground.

"I didn't! I didn't ask for this to happen! I DIDN'T ASK TO LOSE MY PARTNER!"

Phos' scream echoed around the hills, leaving behind them a deafening silence. Bort was stunned. They tried to think of something to say, some kind of response but found their mind an absolute blank. All the older gem could do was stare in awe as Phos took ragged breath after breath, their rage slowly leaving them.

"I, I didn't...ask for this," Phos said quietly, breaking the deafening silence. The younger gem dipped their head a bit, Obscuring Bort's view of their face.

Slowly, Bort's thought's were returning to them, but what could the even say to an outburst like that? Surprisingly, Bort found that an attempt at apology was the first place their mind took them. They had obviously struck something that had been lying dormant in Phos. Before any words could come to Bort's mouth, they felt something curious land on their cheek.

It felt like a large raindrop, one that was strangely warm. Yet with not a single cloud in site, there was no feasible way it could be rain, of that much Bort was certain. It didn't remain a mystery for much longer as Phos raised their head. A golden liquid, the same one that seemed to make up their arms, pooled in the corners of the gem's broken eyes gently streaming down their face. As the liquid peaked at the gem's chin, drops fell from their face, splashing against Bort.

"Does it get easier?" Phos suddenly asked at an aching whisper.

Bort mentally shook themself from their thoughts, now listening intently to the younger gem's words.

"Wha-what?" Bort asked carefully.

"Does it get easier?" The younger gem repeated. "Being strong?"

The older gem once again found themself thrown into a brief silence. What could they even say to that? Bort found an overwhelmingly large part of them wanting to reassure the other gem. The way Phos was now, the pain that gripped the younger gem, it hurt Bort to see. Hurt them in a way they hadn't felt before. Worse than any battle damage they had ever taken. It was as if a Lunarian arrow had stuck their very core. They wanted to absolve Phos of this, take some of their hurt away somehow. It wouldn't be hard to at least start.

Bort hadn't realized that their arms had been freed until they found themself gently cupping Phos' right cheek. With a soft move of their thumb, Bort wiped away a bit of the running gold. To the black diamond's surprise, Phos leaned into their touch.

"_Does being strong get easier? Sure it does._"

It should have been easy to say that, to tell Phos what they so desperately needed to hear. Yet as Bort thought of their past, of their isolation beget from standing at the top, they found it impossible to say.

"No," Bort finally responded. "No, it doesn't."

Darkness fell over them as the sun sank behind the hill. The two gems simply lay there. One, silently crying, the other, continually wiping their tears.


End file.
